#006 How do we communicate? – The problem with words

“The limits of my language are the limits of my world”, Ludwig Wittgenstein once said. And indeed it seems like words rule this world, in today’s globalization probably more than ever. If you want to be able to communicate properly and express yourself, you need to have the words and to learn the language. So people study communication and foreign languages these days and I see myself sometimes communicating in three different languages on a single day.

And there is something about words that makes them very powerful. Nothing can replace the three simple words ‘I love you’. Or as Philip K Dick. describes it: “There exists for everyone a sentence – a series of words – that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you’re lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first”

Are words effective or misleading?

Words are all around us today and big factors are the internet and social media as the fastest channel of communication this world has ever seen. To be honest, however, as much as I appreciate the ease of communication with my friends around the globe, there are downsides to this fast-paced communication as people use it to distort reality. President Donald Trump is the best example, basically running the most powerful country in the world through controversial tweets the media all around the globe will talk about. The reality in life tends to be shades of gray but social media comments are often taken black and white.

Others use words to make simplicity look complicated, spinning words around to make an argument sound better. Politicians and lawyers are typically strong communicators and play around with semantics. “The CIA doesn’t kill anybody anymore, they neutralize people or depopulate the area. The government doesn’t lie, it engages in disinformation. The pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in something they call sunshine units. Contra killers are called freedom fighters” (George Carlin, American comedian). And the thing is that every marketer is going to tell you that this works because people don’t even trust in the right argument anymore but in the right word. Programs of political parties remain more or less the same, but majorities vary depending on the man/woman in charge. The way of communicating and selling becomes more important than the actual content. But is that right?

So what are we missing when listening to words?

How can it be that two people read the same Bible, even pray to the same god, but have different interpretations of what they read? It’s because every word is up to interpretation. Who decides what’s beautiful, what temperature is cold or warm, which movie is scary, and which one is not. How many dimensions of being angry or being happy are there? And more importantly, how can we possibly understand which dimension is meant? We all have our own interpretation of these words and know exactly what we mean, but we cannot expect anyone else to feel exactly the same way we do. As Nietzsche puts it: “All words are subjective to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not the truth”

Context, not word

So context may help. I’ve been told Germans have words for everything, though I have the feeling we just like using the same words over and over. Depending on the context, the German word “Bitte” can be used to say “You are welcome”, “Please”, “Excuse me?” or “Here you go”. Just by itself the word, therefore, has basically no meaning. This context is crucial, however, digital media tends to take that relationship away from the context and puts the word into a 3 seconds video or slogan.

What words cannot do

Now, and this is the major point of this post, words alone won’t ever be enough. What we as humans need to do is to fill the gap that words leave with silence. As long as I can think I’ve been told that I was (too) quiet. I sometimes feel like people just talk for the sake of talking, to avoid silence because it makes them feel insecure. However, I know that we all feel best around those people where a minute of silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable. What we need to realize is that the most beautiful things in the world can not be read or heard. Instead, they must be felt with the heart. No matter what you do, whether you describe the trees or the sea, nature, or the people. the description itself has very little meaning. But to realize what you are seeing you need the insight that comes only from a still mind. It would be a mistake to get caught up with words. That’s why the Zen describes “The true liberation comes from the hearth, not words”. Or as Rumi (Persian Poet) puts it: “Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation

Language opens the world and sets its limits – both at the same time. It is powerful, and we use words to start conversations and relationships, to describe who we are and what we do. However, let’s be mindful of words, be aware of what they cannot do, and that the meaningful things usually come from the moments of silence.

Jacob Nilius